alhamdulilllah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah.
I can't put into words how grateful it is to be here.
the fight back home this time, it wasn't an exciting one for me. I felt no excitement. it was like "ok, i'm going back." it wasn't really a pleasant flight for me, I had motion sickness during the flight. and my back was killing me. I couldn't sleep. and I slept for like an hour? It was painful.
I tried to calm myself down. I'm in the sky, and I'm 'closer' to Him (as if) I prayed, and all the emotions started to kick off. all the sins I've done, whether I was aware or unaware of it. and His mercy and forgiveness are beyond everything. and I was just tearing up, non-stop. so I flipped the holy Quran, so happens to read ar-Rum, chapter 30. and the translation of the surah was amazing, as it really fits my emotions.
but all the sickness & emotions went away when I walked out and saw my dad looking at me, smiling. Allah. the feeling was indescribable. i miss my dad. and he was like, "i came alone." ok. then when we went to the car I saw my mom and melor. aaaa~ super duper good feeling. melor's a big girl now. and it's gonna take some time for her to be okay with me. *grins*
when mom started to filled me up with what did I miss for the past year. I teared. I have missed so much. and she didn't want to tell me earlier because she didn't want me to worry. and then I couldn't help myself from crying. I felt like I have left my mom and abandoned her. I hugged her, and muttered sorry and I love her. :'( she said it's not my fault, just take the stories as a lesson. I quoted her, "I just don't want to go through the same situation again." :'(((( I should've be at home more. :'(((
I'm so clingy with mom now. yeay.
happy holidays everyone. spend it well. time waits for no man, and once it has passed, you can never get it back.
(:
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