*text came in*
abang : call me back ASAP
panic mode! cepat-cepat cari intan untuk pinjam voip. well, technically it's my voip but it's only in her phone cos my phone is too 'canggih' to tampung voip.
"intan cepaaaaat, nak voipppp~"
"nah."
"kenapa?"
"abang aku suruh aku call dia."
*serious rasa tak sedap hati*
"dia rindu kau tu"
"memang tak lah. tak pernah-pernah dia suruh aku call dia."
"hahah tak boleh ke dia rindu"
"i mean message tu pernah la, tapi kalau sampai suruh call sebab rindu, itu poyo."
"i mean message tu pernah la, tapi kalau sampai suruh call sebab rindu, itu poyo."
*dial number abang, hmm tak angkat pula*
takpe lah, baik solat dulu, isyak dah masuk ni.
eh ramai pula nak jemaah, tunggu dulu lah.
*dial once more*
"salamualaikum abang. i called tadi but abang tak angkat. what's up?"
"kau tengah class ke?"
"takde lah, tidur tadi, baru bangun and perasan message abang."
"oh ye ke? hmm adik.. macam ni.. adik, ayah dah takde."
"oh ye ke? hmm adik.. macam ni.. adik, ayah dah takde."
"oh? okay." stunned.
"8.30 malam tadi, ayah...." *he went on but I couldn't hear anything. otak tak dapat process.
"abang, can I go back?" *burst into tears*
"I don't think that's a good idea.."
and the rest of the conversation is a blur to me.
"syahaneez, kenapa?"
"ayah sya. dia.. dia dah.. dah meninggal.." *burst into tears*
and the room was in silence except for me tearing up.
------------
insyaAllah, I am alright. I am okay. it's just, sad.
I just texted him the day before. and he was fine. or so he sounded like fine. was actually arguing with him accidentally blocked me on Line. adoi, punyalah. orang text macam cakap sorang-sorang dia tak reply. rupanya terblock. -_- and he said he's going to some kenduri. i said my goodbye and i told him i love him. ayah being ayah, didn't reply to that. pfft, men and their ego.
it's sad to know that;
no more random Line texting and calling from far away.
no more random inside jokes when we're at home.
no more seeing his face whenever I landed on Malaysia.
no more making fun of his hair.
no more giving motherly advice on the road to him.
no more discussing on cool and interesting topics that I could never talk to mama.
no more seeing his random fb post that is amusing to me.
no more having him stalking my fb, twitter and blog.
no more pep talks to not give up on medicine.
no more cool and calm advises on life.
no more.
the saddest thing is to know that I haven't completely did my part of SH to him. burdened sangat. that's what worries me the most. what if I've failed to be the best muslim to ease his hereafter? Allahu.
right now, I know everyone's worried. I am okay, insyaAllah.
sushi.
he loves sushi.
I know the girls tried to cheer me up with sushi cos I love sushi. they somehow convinced me to go out for sushi today. I tried to get it through.
but I can't.
makes me misses him more than ever.
unagi.
we both really had the craze on unagi.
------------
I hope we'll meet in jannah one day insyaAllah.
and it was the time for you to meet your Rabb
may Allah ease your hereafter journey.
I am here, always going to pray for you.
you will always be in my heart.
I love you lillahi ta'ala.
and for that, I am letting you go.
for you are not mine, but His.
from Him we came and to Him we shall return.