absurd

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

"Life can sometimes be so absurd." - Outlandish's After every rain fall.

first of all, terima kasih to Aisha Ahmad for the internet cable. my cable is not working. and i'm planning not to take the internet for the next month. seriously not worth paying about rm85 and the speed changes. they said i should get 3mbps but not really, you know. ok lah sometimes it feels like 3mbps, the goodness i get when i downloaded house episodes in less than an hour. :P but yeah maybe this is for my own good.

second of all, i'm still trying to figure out what's up with me. one minute i'm all smiling and the other i'm all frowning. i keep thinking that i might have something huge burdening me but when i really think of it, i don't have it. am i imagining myself to be burdened by something is not real? people think i'm angry with them while i'm actually more angry at myself. reading that article makes me really think, who do i have when i'm all down and below? myself and Him. so i need sometimes to be left alone and gather my courage to move on. oh yeah, i speak of this as if i have something huge going on, but really, i don't. i just think too much. (partly why i hate facebook for putting up "what's on your mind" thing there) in one moment, every single thing was on my mind. i just need to focus on good things, the important things, and the people that matters. scratch that last part, i'm not sure if i can focus on that.

i now know why most of the time i can't be left alone. why i need the crowd, the noise, the people. -- i think too much.

i just have to strongly believe that He has things going on for me for a reason.

and for that, i breathe.