randomise.

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

isn't it sad that all we ever talk about is the past? and even though we had a good laugh talking about the past, it's still the past. we can't move towards the future if we keep talking about the past. i once dislike a friend of mine who couldn't let go of the past, the life of primary school when we were in secondary school. i mean, there were so much changes from primary school to secondary and i remember screaming in my head, "for the love of God, MOVE ON". yes, i was mean. i don't know why though. i guess kids don't have reason to be mean. they're just mean.
anyway, yeah. i can't talk about the present with you, let alone the future. actually i can, but you wouldn't give a damn and that sucks. i'm not saying we shouldn't be friends at all. we're friends. and only that. nothing more and hopefully nothing less.

and surprisingly, it hurts me. why surprisingly? i've mentally prepared for this and i still feel like this. i wonder what will happen if i don't give myself a heads up. i'd probably die inside. a little. and of course not literally.

there's more to life than this.

this is indeed, a sad reality.

on the other note, raya is in few days. and my friends here probably have classes and all. who am i gonna celebrate with? :( nah, i'm kidding. i don't really mind. i've lost the meaning of raya many years ago. so, the heck with it. and i hate the fact people only ask for forgiveness during raya. and celebrated raya too much. but raya is the only time family and relatives gather around and see each other. hm. well. i've once said raya is just another holiday. but here we don't even get holidays. so. the heck with that.