Tazkirah Sentap

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.
Supposedly 8.30 i left the hostel to vokzal. Somehow after got out of the room i realised it's already 8.38. Waaaa? Obviously not gonna make it. But i tried anyway.
Got there, a russian uncle said," the train has left." "I know," i replied. "You should sleep less!" he said once more.
Pergh sentap haaabis!
Now wondering to myself;
Is this happening cos I didn't have the full heart of katibah/usrah? Allah hates my intention. Huuuu 😭
I feel so undeserve and useless, really. Sad not cos I miss the train. But sad cos I think Allah hates my intention.

Placebo

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.
Currently in the midst of confusion, whereby I feel so frustrated and disappointed with the system here and myself for actually not being a genius.
But.
I felt loads better after talking to abang. Although i didn't address what was the reason i was upset about, we just talked about our usual discussion and that really calms me. He didn't even have to try i guess. Is this a placebo effect of love? Acewah. Suddenly I'm clear of what I'm supposed to do now. Well actually I've known it all along, I just need someone to remind me to. And I hope I'd be that someone for him too. 🌹

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In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.
It so happens that the moment you wanted to focus on things in life that are matters to you; you start to have doubts. Is this the life for me? Is this the journey for me? That was-was was aweful.
Then came along the times that you started to dreamt of those who had left the dunya. Everyday. And it just tempered with your conditions slightly worse.
I'm missing the whole point here. What am I doing with my life, seriously?
Am I living my life for dunya or for akhirah?

Say No to Procrastination!

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

"If you're in the evening, don't think you're gonna see the morning. If you're in the morning, don't think you're gonna see the evening. Make the best of your health, before you're sick. Make the best of your life, before you die." - translation of 40th hadith from Imam Nawawi.

Let's be firm about this, say no to procrastination. It literally put you in bad situation later. I haven't got the chance to beat this procrastination yet but I am trying to and determine to kick it out from my life. I already have tonnes of work piled up on my desk and it's going nowhere. Frankly speaking, writing out this post does not really help either but I have really missed writing and you might realised how bad is my grammar now. *sigh* I haven't logged on in here for a really long time; and commenting in kak Aisyah's page really triggered me. I hope and wish all the best to kak Aisyah in her conquest of building awesome murabbi out there. It is true; there are so many people who wanted to join usrah/halaqah but there are not many who are able and want to become a murabbi. It's like a booster for me; to prepare myself here to become a murabbi when I will go back for good. In the mean time, I gotta deal with the things that will get me through this university in order to graduate. Allahu yusahhil! As for writing, I will write more and more when I have the chance. And I do hope I'd get the chance to actually share good things with others, insyaAllah.

Ayahku (Part VI)

"Aku rasa dia macam tahu dia akan pergi," said abang, looking towards me. 

"Dia prepare banyak benda before dia pergi. Macam rumah kat Bukit Bayu tu dia siapkan piping pokok kat luar semua tu. Kau taukan style ayah buat kerja biasanya. (Ayah takes time to do stuff)," abang continued. 

Ayah also prepared lots of stuff for mama before he left. Banyak pesanan-pesanan dia. 

"I miss my McGyver," said abang. 

Yeah. Come to think of it memang ayahlah McGyver kami.