In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.
And then I heard "Insha Allah". I was like, mehhh, it's okay. He has good voice.
The thing is I've always into music and I loved Paramore -- for they are the only band that has decent music and lyrics without sex/booze/drugs in it. Some of their songs have meaningful lyrics. Anyhow, point is, I loved music. I had like 16 GBs of songs. Mostly rock genre because I despise RnB due to their lyrics that is just so eww.
Until one day I had a change of heart. That very day He opened the doors for me.
When I listened to "Insha Allah" after that day, my heart was moved. I mean, it's not like I'm listening it for the first time but it was truly a moment for me. His lyrics was just amazing and I love the song ever since. and maybe had a crush on the guy. Haha! Jahiliyah moment there. I was reminded to love the lyrics, not the singer. I was like, okay, blessed this guy for having a beautiful talent, given from above. -- LOL
Then came the time when his fame shoots up. Got famous all over asia and what-not. I dislike things that most people like. So I didn't like it as much as I did.
The point I'm writing this is just that I miss that feeling I had when I listened to the song. It feels so awesome. And now I'm miles away from that very feeling. I've missed the times I felt confident with every thing I did, that I did because of Him. Nowadays is just blerghhhh.
The point I'm writing this is just that I miss that feeling I had when I listened to the song. It feels so awesome. And now I'm miles away from that very feeling. I've missed the times I felt confident with every thing I did, that I did because of Him. Nowadays is just blerghhhh.
The attack of Mr. Futur. :(
I just don't know how I ended up like this. Okay I think I know how.
They say the non-beneficial stories, dramas, music darkens your heart bits by bits. You won't feel it darkens but when you've gone to far, you realised you've changed. :(
I feel like shutting down all those unnecessary entertainments. I have this habit of watching HIMYM but I think I'm getting bored of it so it's good. But I still burst words into songs. Because I've always have them in my head. Remember those time I used to sing along to anything? Yes, that. -______-"
So many jahiliyah things I've never removed. And how do I expect myself to move forward?
It's like going uphill, it's already freaking difficult, for unhealthy-because-never-exercise-me and I'm holding a huge baggage. A baggage full of my jahiliyah stuff. Now tell me how I'm gonna reach the top of Kinabalu Mountain weh? Difficult liao!
[Note : Jahiliyyah stuff : things I'd like to refer that are not beneficial and wasting time. It's not really meant jahiliyyah but I just love to call it that. Ha.]
So. Let's leave the baggage behind, Syahaneez. Never run back and open it. Throw it away in the ocean, let it be lost and never be found.
*INHALE*
I need my heart to be purified again.
Dear Qalb of mine, please be good and love the only one that deserve to be loved. Oh, you know who!
4 comments:
this is exactly how i feel now. really. i feel that jahiliyah thingy that you're saying, sebab i pun jenis suka layan lagu2/ benda2 lagha macam HIMYM jugak :p
& in the end, my heart felt kurang tersentuh terhadap Allah lately & kurang bermuhasabah.
the thing is i just can't let go my likings for music & all. haih, is it that bad sebab i tak nak let go benda2 yang i tau is holding back my obedience to Allah ?
salam amie :)
hmm. i know what you mean. try to reduce it lah kot? for me, i cepat rasa bosan on certain things so one day i'll let go of it. plus, living in overseas makes me an ignorant to all the movies in theatre. aha. about music, i refrain myself from downloading a lot of 'jahiliyyah' music. i got tonnes of nasyeed to substitute with.
my senior once said, if youre addicted with movies, watch those that can give benefit. like watching movies that has sirah related in it. (idk, cos im not a fan of movies) then, if music, tu la, nasyeed. banyak je nasyeed yang best. hihi. if shows, haa, watch la tahajjud chenta ke. LOL. idk.
camtu la. paham ke? kekadang sya melalut ni. 0.0
also, jgn pernah putus berdoa untuk tinggalkan jahiliyyah itu. :)
faham. hehe. thanks for answering though. tapi must be some reason why i can't let it go yet ? i nak jadi baik, but at the same time, i can't let go of my likings towards those bands that i like.
it's like, i can't picture myself to not listen to musics other than nasyids & watch movies.
kadang2 tu kan, i do find some inspirations & whatnot from that "jahiliyah" kinda music/ movies if you know what i mean. hehe.
kadang2 rasa bersalah pun ada, sebab i know that the ultimate soothing-ness comes only from Allah's words, the Quran & also the hadis.
sorry for the long ramble. just some deep thoughts that i've always had inside of me. hehe :)
yeap, tahu. semua nak jadi baik of cos :) tapi bukan senang nak tinggalkan benda2 yang kita dah terbiasa. slowly lah kot.
actually, i was thinking of the same thing also. can u imagine from rock music to nasyid? off gila kot! tapi i ada jumpa few yang rockish tunes which i looove now. lol. tapi mostly melody nasyid soothing lah. haha.
yeah i know. not all things are bad , ada je moral from the music/movies but the thing is bad stuff macam banyak lagi la. tapi ok juga, at least kita focus on good stuff, no? :)
it's okay. it's good to have you around hihi :)
hmm mcm sya kan, sya ada support system yang buat sya nak tinggalkan benda2 ni la. so that makes me want to leave it. tapi tak leh nak completely unfortunately. but it's okay, sikit2 lama2 jadi bukit :)
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