seriously???!

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

"ok aku nak tidur 15 minit, nanti kejut aku."
*kacau2 aku*
"haih, jangan kacau aku"
*still mengacau*
"jangan laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa kacau. aku nak power nap 15 min niii"
*diam 2 minit*
*starts talking again*
"blablablabla (responded to the conversation) ok, 15 minit"
*starts calling my name repeatedly*
"apa? hm, blablablablabla (responded to conversation again) haih, ok la aku nak bangun"
*stops me from waking up, pins me down and ask me to go to sleep*
"kau ni kenapa? aku tadi nak tidur kau nak ajak borak, skrg aku nak bangun kau tak bagi?" << sudah annoyed, tahap hampir menjerit.
*laughs*
"dah la, aku nak study."
*told me that she wants to sleep and not to disturb her*
"aku bukan macam kau, aku takkan kacau kau tidur macam kau kacau aku"
*sleeps*
"(bukak buku, study. pasang lagu. tenangkan hati)"


well dear, it may be a joke to you but it's not funny when you're the only one laughing while i have my eyebrows frown.

frown

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

been feeling down.
felt so guilty.
plus the news of someone's dad passed away.
its just sad.

in a week, there must be a day that i'll be thinking, what if one of my parent leaves the earth?
not that i'm hoping they would but i know one day they will and i'm trying to imagine, how will i cope, what would i do, who will i be?

*mengeluh*

sometimes i just need to be left alone, where i should muhasabah myself, thinking what i've done. and i want some alone time now, but the timing was bad cos everyone is here. i outcast myself and they asked me "what's wrong with you?" here, there's nothing wrong with me, i just want to be alone.

*menahan air mata*

it has been a sad weekend.

i need to go for a walk. right now.

senyum

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

tergerak hati untuk blog tapi banyak kali aku tutup balik windows blogger ni. entah kenapa sebabnya. takde idea. takde masa? ntah. but, since kawanku seorang tegur kenapa blogku menyepi, aku gagahkan diri untuk post satu entri.

waktu aku pulang dari class, aku menunggu bas, ada seorang mak cik ni membawa satu karung besar, isi apa ntah lah, dia pun tunggu bas. then banyak bas dah lalu, she's still around. aku punya bas tak sampai lagi. then ada satu bas lalu, ada seorang wanita & anak lelaki kecil umur mungkin 4 tahun turun dari bas dan si kecil terus mendapatkan mak cik ni. she hugged him. and the lady greeted the mak cik, and they talked, smiled. and i was so amazed, i don't know why. si kecil kononnya mahu tolong mak cik tu angkat karung tu, (he is btw almost the same size of the karung) then mak cik tu mcm cakap tak payah la, then she took the karung. and gave him chocolate wafer. dorang pun senyum2, bual2. aku seriously amazed.

mungkin aku rindu rumah. rindu family. mungkin aku just rasa dorang sweet. hehe.

petang tadi went to the park with a few friends. the memorial park where they put up specially for those who died during the war. the park was alright, boleh tahan lah. but the trees, subhanallah. cantik gila. (it's autumn now, hehehe) there's one particular tree yang sangat yellow and sangat cantik! i like trees. and nowadays aku suka tengok langit. check out the awans.

heh. cantiknya. :)

pasal diri, aku sekarang rasa sangat bersalah, sebab aku tau apa aku buat salah, aku berada di tempat itu ketika semua mengata, menggosip tentang si A tapi aku diam, dan kadang-kadang gelak-gelak. aku try to avoid benda-benda macam ni. aku tak nak outcast A seperti orang lain buat. dia perlukan kawan. tapi kadang kala sikap dia buat aku regret concern pasal dia.

note to self : buat baik kerana Allah. *terdiam*

fyi,

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

alim. apa maksud alim? selalu disalah tafsir; dianggap orang yang alim = kuat agama.

"kau ni alim dah.."
"haela alim gile rilek aaa"

alim sebenarnya bermaksud berilmu. alim. ilmu. sama perkataannya dalam arab. orang alim = orang berilmu. tak semestinya ilmu agama. ada banyak gila ilmu kat dunia ni. jadi, sorang professor non muslim boleh dikatakan alim juga.

warak. warak ni pun konon kuat agama juga. warak pula maksudnya orang yang mengelakkan perkara shubhah. apa pulak shubhah ni?? shubhah adalah perkara yang samar-samar, tak pasti halal ataupun haram. jadi, kalau aku elak perkara2 ni, aku adalah warak.

bukannye pak haji je warak.

harap maklum.

:)