How do I even put these in words?
Yesterday I asked advise for heartbroken via WhatsApp status.
One said to eliminate the cause.
But what if I can't eliminate the cause because they're family? Trust me I am now so confused and lost. I can't just leave family. From psychological aspects, yes I'd be down to leave toxic aura even when it's family. But from responsibility and religion aspects, I can't.
What should I do? I don't know.
I feel so guilty not be able to do what's right but when I tried doing so, I ended up hurting so bad that I don't wanna go anywhere. I don't wanna do anything.
Another said do whatever I'm happy with. That's the thing. I can't recall myself when's the last time I was happy. I don't know what makes me happy. The things I used to like, I don't like them anymore.
My heart hurts, my head hurts - migraine keeps coming, my stomach hurts. Everything seems to hurt..
It's all messed up.
I'm messed up.
I just feel so helpless and hopeless.
When will the storm pass?