In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.
Sudah aku 'buang' info tentangnya supaya tiada yang tahu.
Aku tutup 'dinding' supaya tiada yang berani menconteng dan mengucapkannya.
Aku tidak mahu tahu berapa tahun sudah aku bernafas dan ianya tidak setaraf imanku yang sedikit.
Aku tidak mahu diingatkan kegagalan aku, sedangkan si Fateh berjaya menakluki kota besar ketika usianya muda dariku.
Jangan diraikan aku. Dan siapalah aku tanpa wanita yang berjaya melahirkanku?
Mama. I still remember the tales you've told me. The very one you told about having me into this world. Do you still remember how did we came about that topic? I asked why didn't you take care of me when I was a baby? Why did grandma took me? And then you told me about your complications after giving birth to me. Don't even mention about the time they had to cut you (c-sec) because I couldn't go out through the 'door'. Silly me. :(
You were half-paralyzed. You couldn't eat properly at that time because you can't move your lips. You had to be hospitalized for a long time. You were told to be strong spiritually because your body were getting worse, or else you couldn't make it.
And with your super strong will, Ma, I was able to be around you for the past 20 years. Alhamdulillah, God is The Greatest. He has blessed me with a wonderwoman as my mother. MY mother. Words are not enough to express how grateful I am.
This is only the story about you giving birth to me, and not to mention all those countless seconds you've spent to raise me. Priceless.
Until this day I have never forgotten about this tale. Sadly, I was reminded of the times I hurt you by my misbehavior and there was a time where I have never failed to make you furious. I didn't know any better. I was naive, and sadly, being a typical teenager.
I love you, Mama. Although I had and still do have problems to utter it out loud, but yeah. I love you. Although I'm miles apart, I don't call and talk to you everyday like I did during Summer, my feelings stay the same. I miss you like so much but I gotta stand up, grow up, wipe those tears and start to be act like an adult to move on, right?
I hope I can be the daughter you always wanted me to be. I wanna be a wonderwoman like you too, one day, insyaAllah.
You never left in my do'a and I hope we'll be together in Jannah later. InsyaAllah.
And this goes wholeheartedly to my lady. My wonderwoman. My teacher. My counselor. My personal doctor. My mother.