wake up call.

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.
it's been a while since I've read something out loud and those words make me shaken, some palpitation (our medical term when the heart's beating fast) pretty afraid but still hoping for some mercy -- all at once.
















that's the power of Quran when we read with our opened hearts, mind and soul; biiznillah.


subhanallah.
walhamdulillah.
wala ilaha illallah.
allahu akbar.


how I've miss this 'feeling' so much...

resolution.

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.
after a few days being the way I was, I have finally came up with a resolution.
although, I felt a little dumb for mentioning it later because the answer was so obvious.

too obvious.

what is it?
-- just submit yourself to Him and by submit, it's not only by our body but by mind & heart as well.

the 3 main components of a human being :
- heart / qalb
- mind / aqal
- body / jasad

*ingat balik daurah hakikat manusia keh* hehe

because in this world, no matter how close you are with your family and friends;

• He is indeed closer than all of them. 50:16
• never going to burden us with something we can't handle. 2:286
• never break His promises. 3:194
• He is the one is going to bring us peace at heart. 13:28
• He always listens (As-sami') even though He knows what's in our hearts (67:13)
• He is all-loving (al-wadood), the most merciful (ar-rahman),  the most beneficent (ar-rahim)

what more can I possibly need when I have Him?

*smile*

--theoretically I've got it. but nevertheless, I'd still need your du'as. jazakumullahu khair <3 p="">
may Allah ease!

how?

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.
as the days passed by I felt more and more the need of me waking up from this dream. once, long before this day, I've dreamt of waking my friends up from the fire that's burning down the building while they were in deep sleep.

and today, I think I have fallen asleep just like them. yes, the fire is still going on.

am I becoming far worse than I have before? honestly, I'd say yes. but by realising this I could have done something to overcome this matter.

and I have done nothing.

it's such a shame that I have disappoint the people around me and most importantly my Creator by being this way. have I not sin enough to erupt His anger?

worse when I feel I had no support on this matter cos no matter how hard I tried to explain my situation I'd end up saying -- I don't know. I don't feel like opening up this matter to anyone unfortunately. and then they say it's a sign for me to depend on Him 100%. trust me, easier said than done, in my case. I've been letting my heart gone dark and now it has a problem accepting things; not like the days before.

I truly believe whatever He sent to me, no matter how hard it is, I am capable of overcoming it. sadly I feel disappointed cos most of the times, it is myself who's letting myself down.

it's hard to fight your ownself. it's a fighting battle all the time. you win some, you lose some. hence, the importance of having someone to support you whenever you're down.

then the mind starts to wander, on who I wanted to talk with so I'd feel better. cut. it. out.

but then again, when you're down, it's vital to get up as soon as you can so you won't stay in the darkness for so long.

as of today, I try, and insyaAllah I will keep on trying to keep my heads up. no one's gonna save you but yourself, they said. and only I can change things, for He has spoken that "Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves." (13:11) 

right?

du'a for me, please.

perhaps it's time.

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

photo by Umar Mita

I know I'm not the right (or even righteous) person to guide you, but I'm trying to as it's part of my responsibility.

I know what are our purpose of life, and the dunya is just sinking us both and we gotta try to swim back to the shore!

If we love someone; we'll try to abstain them from getting into hell and we'll do anything, just anything to save them from hellfire. and because I love you so, I'm doing this. I tried, but He is the one, and only one who hold your heart.

"Indeed, you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided." Al-Qasas 28:56

****

one night, in our hostel. everyone was sleeping. suddenly I woke up to the smell of the smoke. I looked around and saw the building is on fire. and I knew I have to save myself and get out of this building as soon as I can. as I got up from the bed, I saw my roommate, dead asleep, not aware of what was going on.
"Bangun, weh, hostel terbakaq ni!"
"hmmmmmm........" huh, she's not even awake. I tried one more time.
"Bangun! aku serious ni weh."
"Huh? mana ada terbakar. hang ni mamai apa ntah." and she went back to sleep. How frustrated I was. I tried to wake her up and it wasn't working at all. At all!

I was thinking to myself, should I just grab my things and leave? or... continue to wake her up?

****

perhaps it's time, to make a change. to change for the better.

regret, not.

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

when we're in the midst of disobeying His orders, and doing what He told us not to when we are clear of the do's and don'ts, istighfar.

istighfar, dear heart.

gather up your strength and let it go.

and when you do let it go because of Allah, insyaAllah He'll make it ease for you.

for once, I didn't think of sudden changes will happened to me. I know one day it will happened, but I didn't think it would be this soon. too soon. too abrupt, I felt like I didn't have the chance to say goodbye.

I thought to myself, yes, this is the better path. no more rooms for making sins, insyaAllah. or at least, lessen the sins I've made.

but deep inside I couldn't help but to say, " why on earth did I let this go this? I felt a little of regret. "

and astaghfirullah, I shouldn't feel regret.

never regret leaving the things He hates and never ever regret of doing something good for your soul.

the path is never easy for those who were promised Heaven.

if getting into Jannah is as easy as A B C, we will all crammed into Jannah like those boneless sardine in a can. eh?

Jannah is not easy to achieved but it's not impossible. we have all the 'cheat codes' in the Quran.

to simplify : do as what He pleases, leave all the things He hates.

it's all there, masyaAllah. it's up to us to move our butt to work on it or just sit out on this one, and see other people striving for Jannah. and one day in Akhirah, we'll be looking at them with bright and happy faces, as they get to enter Jannah. and us? wallahu'alam.

whenever we wanna do something, ask ourselves, is this permissible in Islam?

Islam never restricts any thing way too much. it is us who exaggerate on a certain aspect of Islam. Islam love modesty. never too extreme and to 'chill' for anyone. never. most of the things that are permissible might fall into 'danger' zone when we do it excessively. and that, insyaAllah I will go on deeper on that matter in another post.

ya Allah, grant us strength and make us istiqamah with this wonderful deen.

when I tried to do something and every thing seems out of place, I felt this is His way of telling me off -- "Sya, have you forgotten about your Lord? Have you recited enough my love letters every day? Have you remembered me during your day and night? Have you..."

So remember Him and only in remembrance of Allah the heart finds peace. (13:28)