quickie.

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

first of all, i need to announce this.

it's been quite sometime this thing started but no one really knew, except few ones were with me in Kursk. i do no wish people for their birthday. i do not celebrate birthday. i don't wanna sing the birthday song. i have my own reasons for this. too long to explain here, takut korang takkan faham persepsi aku. insyaAllah satu hari nanti aku explain. bukan sekarang. jadi, tolong jangan terasa kalau aku tak wish. sorry.

if nak tau reason sebenar, tanya je aku bila jumpa. settle. k?


tadi tengok despicable me & toy story 3. had a great time with my girls. despicable me made me teared, bcos laughed too much and toy story 3 ending sedih, teared lagi. (nasib baik aku tak obses dgn toys time dulu2 kalau tak balik rumah nangis2 selongkar toys lama2) hahaha.


btw, cerita / shows kat tv sekarang mcm crap. or it has always been like this but mentality aku berubah?

apa nak jadi dengan aku?

apa nak jadi dengan dunia?

ya rabbi, berikanku kekuatan untuk menepis segala keburukan. aku hanyalah hamba yang lemah.

chenta.

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

semalam aku beli novel aA+bB, aku tak tergerak hati nak cari pun semalam tapi bila nampak kedai buku popular, terus zupppppppp, cari, nampak, ambik. hehe. cari tafsir Al- Quran tapi tafsir dia lain, buat pening bila baca. nanti cari kat mph je lah.

balik je semalam kemas sikit dengan mama. lepas tu ingat nak tidur, tapi bila dah online.. haih. lalai betul. tiba-tiba tengok jam dah pukul 3am, tu sedar sebab aisha cakap dia nak tidur dah. adoi, aku nak buat apa? takkan nak tidur, alamat lepas lah subuh nanti. suddenly i remembered about the novel. okay, let's read!

baca dan baca, i couldn't put the book down, sampai lah pukul 6.30am. huish. aku bukan jenis yang membaca, and i don't really read malay novel. tapi bila kat kursk dulu si eli, aisha, ima recommend kan baca tunas, a novel by hlovate ni, i'm hooked. and aA+bB is the continuation lah kira, eventhough aA+bB was published first. i seriously don't like to read. tapi these 2 novels, i really like. not to say i love cintan cintun novel. last month i read pilot cafe novel i borrowed from nadia pun baca tak baca je. skip banyak sebab bosan. and it's a love story lah jugak. plus, i finish the book within a day je sebab banyak skip. wahaha.

aA+bB really is interesting. nak kata jiwang, tak jugak. main characters are trashers, tak main ayat cinta-cinta ni. girl named addin shah and boy named benz alif. addin sempoi, benz cool. tapi towards the end of the book diorang agak mushy lah but not so, so i can still tolerate.

cerita macam ni lah buat aku wonder maybe, there is someone out there for ourself. like really meant for us? i've heard that, girls are made from one of the guys rib cage. so each girl is meant for specific guy. (this is the saying because Hawa was made from Adam's ribcage) erk, entahlah.

this novel macam bittersweet love story. benz sweet lah. aku jatuh hati. hahah. dana cakap ni macam edward cullen aku lah konon. i said, benz is more realistic cos he's not 107 years old vampire. :P

itulah dia my point of view bila baca this novel. tapi bila snap back to reality, couples sekarang macam apa je. okay, not all of them, most of them anyway. haha. aku bukannya jealous dan aku obviously "tak rasa apa yang diorang rasa" which is "rasa berchenta" ni. aku rasa tak payah nak tunjuk kau berchenta tahap gaban lepas tu break. sebab aku tak rasa diorang rasa apa yang patut diorang rasa. mostly infatuation, please don't call it love. you have ruined the reputation of love by saying that you're in love but clearly you are not. (at least to me you are not, you yourself, apa you tau. hahaha)

strong like and love tak sama. sayang = love or cinta = love? sayang and cinta lain kay.

apa2 lah. aku rant pasal chenta ni takkan habis punya. aku dah pernah post pasal cinta ni kat blog lama pun. haha.

chenta je lah pada yang satu, pada yang Esa, padaNya kerana hanya Dia takkan kecewakan kita.

empty.

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

tried to take a picture of love. i wanna fill this new frame, but it's empty.

aku rasa the cons of balik rumah is these feelings. perangai makin teruk. im back to my old self. mood swing tak pasal. is it really bcos of the enviroment kat rumah or i am what i am? aku tak suka dengan perangai sendiri, tapi bila cuba ubah, dia jadi macam tu juga. willing tak kuat. lemah! manusia yang hina!

aku buat benda2 yang aku tak sepatutnya buat, seperti buang masa. serious aku buang masa. aku balik 8 july kan? skrg dah hampir 2 minggu and satu apa pun aku tak achieve. buang masa, buang duit je kerja. menyusahkan parents. menyusahkan kawan2. seriously annoyed with my own self!

semalam pergi KL with parents, nak settlekan visa tokyo. lepas tu aku ckp aku nak keluar, yeah, aku actually nak makan naan, haha. aku ajak dana, dia ajak the rest of the gang. aku pun pergi lah KJ jumpa dorang semua. haris picked me up, cos i didnt have the car with me. pegi digital mall, got myself something. pergi baker's cottage. got my fav tuna filled bun. :) :) << mood happy.

lepas tu they decided to go makan kat picadilly. aku ikut je. aku tak jadi makan naan. diorang je la makan, aku lepak je. << mood dah turun.

lepas tu dana and teri had to go back, so haris send them home. aku terus diam, time tu dah almost 9pm. << mood start hilang.

aku tak rasa sbb picadilly tu aku hilang mood, aku sebenarnya marah dgn diri sendiri, tak tau kenapa rasa nak jerit je time tu, tapi cool, cool. jgn buat gila, buat scene dpn org. aku hampir nangis sebenarnya tapi tahan je lah, aku tak nak buat scene, like i said. after hantar dana, sasa cakap "sya is quiet already." << mood betul2 hilang.

aku cakap aku mengantuk, which was true pun. haris pun pelik kenapa aku ngan teri diam. teri sakit perut actually, haha. aku? ntah. lepas send off teri, we're on the way to puchong, my place. aku rasa sedikit bersalah sbb haris kena hantar aku, dah la jauh weh. tapi aku takde transport lain! lagipun dorang kata okay bila aku tanya boleh ke hantar aku balik. hm. << mood tenang.

bila sampai rumah, sasa and haris were so excited. aku pun melayankan je lah. showed them around. haris said this is his dream house. hahaha. sasa cakap ni cantik, tu cantik. semua la dorang suka. << mood dah okay.

at the end of the night, aku okay,

MOOD SWING GILA. aku rasa hormones aku pun menggila. jerawat banyak gila kat muka, macam aku stress padahal tak pun. ke memang aku stress duduk rumah? hahahaha.

part of me nak balik kursk, sebab kat situ aku WARAS.

weird, tempat yang tak waras buat aku waras. tempat yang waras buat aku GILA!

tak suka.

erghghghghg.

baca post entry blog pun tau time bila aku waras, time bila aku gila. dan time tu aku kat mana.

gileeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..

;S

a trip down to memory lane

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

first of all meet John Denver, my current bf. :p

my fortune cookie said this. :o

form 5~ one of the best years. :'))
cantik kan tag. tgk laa siapa designer dia. HAHAHA *angkat bakul sendiri*

my primary school time where my obsession about barbie stuff. mannn.. i was THAT girl?

keychain. i dont rmmbr why but i was called chicken. i think we had our all animal names back then. f2 time



during primary. athirah gave me this. hahahahaha. i dont even remember! but this is the proof. i bet athirah pun tak ingat kan ;D

and the worst thing, my diary. i tak sempat tak pic of the front cover. but the content, omg! GELI GUA. EW EW EW EW EW EW. all those writings about hate and love. mostly hate lah kan, about this person and that person. the way i wrote. GELI. EW!!!

:D

but something caught my eye, i wrote there :

" i wanna be a doctor!"

aku terdiam. i wrote then when i was 12. i was determined back then, but why doubting it now? i should regain my strength and faith. i wanna be a doctor. :)

someone once said if you laugh at your old-self, that means you are growing up. yeay im growing up. :)

speaking.

In The Name Of Allah, The Most Beneficent, The Most Merciful.

aku tahu satu hari nanti aku akan tulis pasal ni.

kalau aku cakap english, aku ni nampak arrogant ke? poyo? sebab tak reti2 nak berbahasa melayu?

sometimes i do feel comfortable speaking in english tapi most of the time aku hantam cakap melayu jugak.

hari tu time jalan2 with aisha, aku asyik ckp english. aku perasan, tapi bila try tukar cakap melayu, automatic akan tukar to english balik. macamlah aku duduk russia aku cakap english. kat russia aku cakap melayu selalu. sampaikan roommate aku yang tak paham melayu boleh cakap melayu dah sikit2.

serious time balik ni aku asyik ckp english. then lately, abang cakap aku punya english ada slang. MANA ADA. ke ada? hahahaha, aku rasa mcm takde. pelik ah.

aku tak cakap yang english aku power. tolong sikit. grammar english aku tunggang terbalik, tatabahasa melayu ntah ke mana. padesh ruski? ooohhh way beyond horrible.

i speak broken. malay. english. russian. i can't speak proper.

"can't you speak prop-er?" quote from a british movie. lol. tetiba xD

i can't! mostly sekarang i speak rojaks. english malay russian. tapi now in malaysia siapa je paham ruski, jadi kita buang ruski tu jauh2. :P

tapi best, time jln2 with aisha, we spoke russian so no one can understand. nyahaha. tapi aku pun pening laa kalau aku cakap russian aisha pun tak paham. ;[ haha

so tak kisah lah aku cakap bahasa apa. janji paham. nanti cek dok habaq kat hang macam orang kedah, hang dak paham, cek pun susah. keche' kelate kang mu dok pahe gok. nasib baik mek sik tauk kelakar sangat, mun sik kitak pun pening.

arai na? mai ru, mai kau chai. 55555555! (thai)

pahe dok? 555!

:)

oke lah explain sikit;

arai na? = apa dia?
mai ru = tak tau
mai kau chai = tak paham
5 = ha
5555 = hahahah


whatever it is;
SAY it don't SPRAY it.